Tag Archives: kids

How to raise confident, curious, and creative kids

How to Raise Confident, Curious and Creative Kids

Matt’s note: This is really nice article with helpful points. I especially like #6 about allowing mistakes. Too many children lack confidence because they are afraid to fail. As parents, in our pursuit to protect kids from every danger, we often stifle their creativity and limit their confidence by either making them afraid to experiment and fail or doing everything for them. Remember the Magic School Bus series? “Take chances. Make mistakes. Get messy.” That’s some of the best advice we can give our children.

Messy-childrenBy Siny Sebastian

How to raise kids to be creative, curious and confident

What do you wish the most for your kids? Is it a life of happiness in which they enjoy each moment by considering their life as an adventure? Or is it a life where they are able to live their life bravely by thinking creatively in their daily life? Whatever be the dreams we have for our kids, imagination, creativity, curiosity and confidence in children do play an important role in realizing these dreams.

Eleanor Roosevelt, the famous American Diplomat once said “I think, at a child’s birth, if a mother could ask a fairy godmother to endow it with the most useful gift, that gift should be curiosity”. Do you think that you would ever wish for such a gift for your kid? I surely did wish for that since I pinned for such a fairy dream for long 9 months. But then later as my kids grew, I realized the truth that it doesn’t have to be a dream. It is indeed possible to raise our kids to be creative, curious and confident if we parents have the basic understanding and knowledge to quest their creativity. On top, it is not such a hard process.

Wondering why? This is because kids are born curious. All that we need to do is to encourage them in their exploratory expeditions. Children have an inborn quality to absorb information easily and so when we build up their sense of adventure, it will motivate the kids to go out of their way in learning and understanding new things. The more things they find for themselves, the more easily it is for them to come up with creative ideas. Believe it or not, all these are not something that is easy not only on paper, but also in reality as they are several simple things that we can do to foster their curiosity.

Creative thinking is important for children as it develops intrinsic motivation in children. This in turn helps them to love the process of learning throughout their life. What’s more, curiosity and creativity are related to optimal well-being as it is seen that those who love learning new things and are always curious are more happy and optimistic than those who are not. All this gives them a sense of self- confidence that makes them push themselves more to follow their dreams, irrespective of all the barriers that they face in life. Don’t we all want our children to chase their dreams?

For all this to happen, the foremost thing needed is for the parents to be equipped. Parents have a great influence on what their child thinks and learns in the early years. Parents are the first role models that the kids look up to. Parents should help them in making the kids understand how to think, but then never teach them what to think as it will hinder their creativity and curiosity.

Now, it is time for the tips which will help us to raise confident, curious and creative kids. Some of these are:

1) Encouraging Curiosity – Asking questions to children is a great way to enhance their curiosity. It will not be a one sided as you already guessed since it is a common knowledge that kids are experts in asking questions. This two- way process is one of the best and easiest ways to boost their curiosity. It motivates the kids to find answers for themselves and promotes their independence. Always try to stretch their knowledge.

2) Communication – Communicate with the kids those matters which will make them think. This gives them a chance or ability to build their own opinions. When this kind of communication happens, you will able to further their curiosity as well as increase their confidence. Children become more observant and perceptive about their environment. Besides, it helps the parents to understand what all the kids are really interested in.

3) Open Atmosphere – This is an essential prerequisite since the kids are able to express the ideas freely only in such an environment where there isn’t much inhibitions. When children seek out new experiments and new ideas, they are able to increase their critical thinking and their ability to solve problems.

4) Adequate Resources – When we provide adequate resources for unstructured and unrestricted child directed activities with right guidance, we are providing them enough space for ample growth of creative expressions. It isn’t hard since we can use our own common experiences rather than buying the kids with expensive and fancy materials.

5) Building Confidence – If we really want our kids to be confident then the kids should be made to look at things in different perspectives and ways and then make the kids believe in them by we believing in them. This in turn would help to support the child’s interests.

6) Allowing Mistakes – It is very much possible that there would be lots of mistakes in this interesting process. The important thing to note here is that the mistakes made by the kids should be considered as opportunities and not as unsuccessful attempts. Only when we allow the kids to make mistakes will they not be afraid of failures and be confident kids. If the kids are scared of failures, then there is lesser chance of them trying new things.

7) Timely Appreciation – Show and demonstrate genuine interest and appreciation of what they are doing – Most of the time, the kids are able to understand when we fake these feelings. Be with them when you have the time, since that motivates the children most.

Through these ways, we will be able to shape an environment for the kids where they are full of curiosity and be full of confidence in both themselves and in the world around them.

Parents also wish that their kids are confident, curious and creative! So here come, some simple tips that enable us to do that!

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Siny_Sebastian

Teach your children to earn what they want, not expect it.

Emily is right on the money in this article.  Children need to be taught that life doesn’t give handouts.  If you want it, earn it. Only through honest effort can a child raise their feeling of self-worth and accomplishment thereby developing true confidence. Parents, it’s time to learn how to say NO more often, then offer advice for how they can work towards their goals.

~ Matt

These 10 Things You Don’t Owe Your Child Are Totally Spot On – Boom!

In this world where entitlement is rampant, you need to know you don’t actually owe your kids a whole lot – especially not these things.

In today’s society, everyone is concerned about what we’re entitled to or what we deserve. Adults gripe and complain that they didn’t get what they deserved. There are constant debates about what are our rights as citizens. What are the basic rights of human beings?

I don’t care to get in the middle of those debates. I’m not looking for controversy, but I am concerned about our children. I’m concerned about what we are teaching our children for the future. Are we teaching them how to be grateful and work hard or are we making life too easy for them?

The demands that we make as adults and the things we think we are entitled to are observed by our children. They hear us talking and making demands. They hear the tone in our voices. They hear how we speak to others in authority. As they grow older, they may overhear the news or the radio broadcasts. They hear it all. The question is: Is it what you want them to be hearing?  The example society is setting for our future is that they are entitled to get everything they want. Is that true? Is everyone entitled to get everything they want?

As I walk through the store I often hear children complaining to their parents. “That’s not fair!” “I want this!” “You promised!” Do your children think you “owe” them things?

You don’t have to feel guilty for being the parent that says no. There are many things in life that we DO “owe” our children.  As parents, we owe them our unconditional love, respect, and endless forgiveness. They deserve  a place to call home, food to keep them healthy, and an education that will help them later in life. However, there are plenty of things in life they are not entitled to. These are things parents don’t need to feel guilty about. We do not need to feel guilty saying, “NO” to our children! In fact, I’m thankful to parents who say no to their children. Sometimes the best way to love your child is to say no!

This is my list of 10 things you don’t owe your child.

10 Things You Don’t Owe Your Child

1. Children are not entitled to rewards for good behavior. When you walk through the store and your child behaves while you are shopping, you don’t “owe” them a toy for good behavior. They behaved. That’s GREAT! Done deal. This one drives me nuts! I would say to my child, “Thanks for being so well-behaved in the store today!” They say, “Your welcome, what can we get?!” After many lessons, they are learning. Life is not a hand-out. Sometimes you just have to do what is expected of you. Now, after teaching them, I can reward them once in awhile and not have to continually hear them asking for a reward.

2. Children are not entitled to be the best athlete in school.  Children walk on the field or the court and expect they will have the skills and talent of a pro-athlete. What they don’t realize is that good athletes work hard.  If they work hard and practice their skills they will reap the rewards. The rewards do not necessarily mean professional sports though. Skill and talent doesn’t come automatically and it doesn’t come without hours of committed practice.

3. Children are not entitled to every possession they want!  First, let’s help them appreciate the things they have. Learning contentment is another hard but important life lesson. Next let’s teach them the value of what it is they want. Teach them how to save their money for it. They can earn it. You don’t have to buy it for them because they want it now. Give them a chance to want it for a little while. They may discover if they wait that they didn’t really want it that desperately.  They will also learn patience. Your children will appreciate the item even more!

4. Children are not entitled to popularity. There is no rule that says they will or should have a playground full of friends. Everyone is different. Teach them that sometimes a few really good friends is better. Popularity is not the most important part of life to strive for. We would never wish for our children to be without friends, but they need to learn how to make friends and be a good friend in order to have them and keep them.

5. Children are not entitled to a gourmet meal. We work hard as parents and there are a lot of aspects to running a home. You may not have time to make a 7-course meal when all that is said and done. Parents don’t have to feel guilty about that. Do the best you can to provide a healthy balanced meal for your family. Teach your children to respect that. Let’s teach them how to help make those meals! This is a win for everyone!

6. Children are not entitled to a maid. Our job is to be the parents. We are not the cleaning service. Let’s teach our children how to clean up after themselves and how to do simple chores. Let’s teach them that chores do not always mean a payment when they finish. This teaches them responsibility and ownership for their things and their house. Everyone in the house can be responsible for helping to take care of the house. These skills help them in school also.

7. Children are not entitled to fast food service. Patience is a very hard thing to teach children and even adults.  A child’s request to you for whatever it may be, does not have to be fulfilled immediately. Sometimes it is a good lesson for them to wait patiently. Teaching children to wait is a life-lesson. There will be times in life they will have to wait, so they might as well get used to it!

8. Children are not entitled to pass to the next grade. Our children are all brilliant, kind to others, and selfless, no doubt. We all want to believe that about our children. We know our children. The teachers also know our children. Children may think this, but they are not given a free ride to the next grade level. It is not an automatic pass at the end of the year. Having their hinder in their seat every day is not enough. Children have to work and learn the information necessary to get to the next level. If they don’t put in the time or the work, it is not a free pass. There are students who don’t do their work or don’t think it matters if they get an A or a D on their homework. It matters if they don’t have the skills they need for the next grade!

9. Children are not entitled to win every game. We do not need to let our children win when we play games with them. We can keep score in a game and have a winner and, yes, a loser.  Children can learn at an early age how to be a gracious winner and not a sore loser. We can teach them that they won’t win every game. We also teach them that we don’t stop playing games because we might lose or because we lost a last game. Competition is a natural instinct but learning how to lose is a lesson we have to learn at some point in life. This lesson will carry through our entire lives. If they learn this early on, adjusting to what life throws at them will be much easier.

10. Children are not entitled to be right all of the time.Everyone wants to think they are right ALL the time. Whether we are willing to admit it or not…we are not always right. Similarly, children are not always right and they need to be taught that they are not. It is our responsibility to correct them when they are wrong. They will make excuses for their behavior or they will argue about why they are right. As parents, we need to curb this behavior early and teach them that it is okay to be wrong and how to admit to being wrong. It’s a hard pill to swallow, even for adults. If we don’t teach them this lesson they become disrespectful to anyone who tries to tell them they are wrong about anything. As a teacher, and the wife of a teacher, I know how disrespectful children can be when they are told they are doing something wrong. Children may be entitled to their opinion. However, let’s teach them how to voice it respectfully and at the correct time!

Children ARE entitled to parents who will teach them the difference between the things in life they have to work for and the things in life that are given freely.

My name is Emily and I am a mother of three girls. My husband and I have been happily married for 11 years. I was a teacher before I became a mother and now I creatively try to do both. I have a lot of interests and hobbies that I’d love to share with you! Please check them out at my blog, Mom on the Move, or find me onFacebook, Pinterest, and Twitter.

Raising Confident Children – Step Back And Don’t Do It For Them

Raising Confident Children – Step Back And Don’t Do It For Them

Note: Some good advice for parents in this article.  For more ideas, see our Free Stuff page for 6 Reports with ideas for increasing your child’s confidence at home.

~ Matt

By Helen R Williams

Confidence comes about through experience – Experience comes about by doing it yourself.

Don’t do it for them – step back and allow your children the opportunities to get the experience for themselves.

School age children need all the confidence they can muster. They are away from you for many hours each day. Who does the thinking for them then?

The biggest problem with under confident children comes from parents who do it all for their kids.

Many parents believe that their job in good parenting is to look after all the many physical needs of their children. Sometimes it just doesn’t occur to parents that they could do with stepping back a bit and encouraging their children to do more for themselves, have more responsibility.

How can your children cry, “It worked! I did it! Come and see what I did!” if your habit is to do it all for them.

Build their self esteem.

Children need all the opportunities you can give them.

Take a long look at all the things in your daily routine that you just do by rote for your children and see what you could change.Effective parenting is always a balancing act.

Yes, children need to be children, but they need to be raised towards independent thought and action as well. Getting the balance right takes thought and consideration, but the payback is wonderful.

As you allow your children to plan, decide, and act from their own sense of confidence, you are providing them with opportunities to say look at what I can do and to know it and experience that thought deep with in themselves. That is confidence.

Set up these opportunities regularly

Have them make their own lunches, make their own beds, do their own room cleaning.

Have them be more responsible.

In other words, have them look after themselves more and be party to their own planning and decisions.

They can, you know, they really can. And they will thank you for it in large measure when they are older.

Show your children that you trust them – Build their self esteem.

How? By giving them the opportunities to do trustworthy things.

Have them work alongside you in the kitchen so they become familiar with cooking and cleaning up. Then suggest one evening a week, or month when your school age children have the responsibility for the evening meal – the planning, the cooking, the serving and the cleaning up.

Plan outings together, showing them all that needs to be taken onto account. Then have them take responsibility for planning a day of family activity on the weekend.

Talk through the routines necessary for getting off to school each day, and then have them take more responsibility for their own planning. This is a necessary precaution in case of parental illness or other interruptions to your normal family routine anyway.

These are only a few of the many ways your children can be encouraged in their own self confidence.

Don’t solve your children’s problems for them

Instead, see the problem as an opportunity for learning and growth and set them up with the chance to overcome the problem themselves.

Many parents allow their children to avoid reasonably challenging situations so they won’t be inconvenienced themselves.

Your children know when you will bail them out, and when you aren’t being totally honest, and they will muster their skills to have you rescue them. Call yourself out when you know you are doing this.

It produces fearful, timid children who lack confidence and decision making skills. It’s hard to think of loving parenting as over-parenting or over protective parenting, but the line is crossed so easily and is often hard to go back on.

Encourage risk taking in your children Self esteem tools come through communication.

Have lots of open-ended conversations with your children to help them question how they would cope with different situations.

Sprinkle you speech with open ended questions – use the six starting words.

How, Why, What, Who, When, Where.

Engage in conversations that begin with –

* What do you think will happen if you do that, or don’t do that?

* How would you handle it?

* Where would you go?

* Why would you suggest that?

* When do you think that’s appropriate?

* Who would you ask?

This encourages your children to think for themselves.

Listen to how you speak to your kids – do you tell, or do you suggest? Do you talk or do you listen?

Commend Them

If you set up situations for your children to practice their confidence with, you are also giving yourself opportunities to commend them for their thinking, their actions and their attempts.

Make the most of these.

Get into the habit of telling them:

I noticed today that you were easily on time.

I noticed how thoughtful you were.

I saw you really thinking carefully.

Reinforce their confidence by noticing, by consideration, and by listening.

Thank them for their input into your family life.

Let them know that you observe, respect and consider them.

Help them to reach upwards towards their best potential by giving them opportunities for practice.

Raising Confident Children – Don’t do it for them!

Helen Williams
Editor Consistent Parenting Advice.com
http://www.consistent-parenting-advice.com/index.html

I believe that being a consistent parent is both vitally important and totally necessary to ensure a happy family life. However, becoming a consistent parent is rather like trying to push water uphill if we are not consistent within our selves. This website addresses HOW to adopt a firm, clear, consistent parenting approach, while enabling you to enhance and increase your emotional well-being.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Helen_R_Williams